October 28th

Ok, I know it's not October 28th anymore. One day late there Bridges..right? October 28th is a special day for me. It is the last day that I will be a smoker. Yeah right? I know, no guarantees in life. But please, to all my friends, if you ever see my with another cig "Knock Me Down" (Red Hot Chili Peppers). I hate nicotine. I hate the control it had on me. I hate that I have to pause from writing this to cough because my lungs are trying to get rid of all this junk I have put in my lungs.
I am young, and aside from the tar and nicotine, rather healthy. Happy? I am happy, why would you think I wasn't happy you ungrateful little..... sorry. Nic fit.
I have two wonderful children who's hugs bring me joy, love and peace. Who's smile can fill my heart and who's future looks bright. I need to be there to witness that future. I have a great job, a sturdy house, and enough stuff to make one complete.
So, why smoke? Hmm... weakness. Am I weak? In most of my life I would say no, but I am quick to be weak, when I have the time to think, my strength rises. So that's what I have to work on, Immediate strength. Strength to not fall prey to the whims or the impulses that will pass. I have been smoke free for months and love it. I know what happens when i say.. oh just this once or I can stop. I can't and I can't do this again. This is it. This is the perfect time. Long before the stress of Holiday shopping, of taxes, and long before the weakest time for me to fight nicotine.... the summer.
So, those who read this....if you are a smoker or not Listen to this song
(tried to add but it took over 1/2 hr....the song is "last Cigarette by Paranoid Social Club)


A friend was hearing me rant about my dislike of nicotine and suggested I start my blog. Good Idea I thought, record what I am going through now, if ever I think I could pick up another again.
Enough for one night.... I'm tired.