Day Two

Second day of not smoking...
Anger of allowing myself to smoke still there. Coughing is in abundance. Lethargy is rampant. I don't even know how I am able to stay up so late. The good thing is that I was given some more of the Chantix from a good friend of mine who it did not work for. So now I have two more weeks of which to get over these nic fits. My daughter gave me a big hug today and said that I was doing a good job.... I love my kids :)
That really wiped out a lot of the anxiety that I had been feeling, I hadn't realized that it wasn't a cigarette I was needing..just a hug.
I really feel like I can do this, that this will be successful. I didn't make a big deal of it like I did before, and now I am doing it for me, not being pressured by anyone. The pressure I give myself is enough. I know I am not out of the woods yet. I have many more days and moments of weakness to overcome. I just have to remember why I am doing this and keep keeping on.
One strange thing happened this morning. I realized how badly I stunk as a smoker... I turned on the heat to my car and was like.. "Whoa what is that smell?" It was the pungent aroma of stale cigarettes. I almost lost it there in the car. I opened the window and it didn't get much better. I made it to work and could still smell myself throughout the morning. I still smelled the nasty aroma. AND I DIDN"T SMOKE! I can't believe that I used to stink WORSE than that and I used to think that I aired out the car enough not to stink...
Guess not, even not smoking for over 36 hrs and airing out the car resulted in the car and me stinking like crazy. New car air fresheners bought and installed....
Now to wash all my coats and sweatshirts....
Blah. Its' not worth it.