Whew

K. Keep on keeping on right?
No chantix no nicotine... and just to add more pain I am slowing down on the intake of coffee. Why? No, I do not like the pain but I would rather get all of the withdrawls done at once instead of dragging them out over time.
The nicotine withdrawls for the most part is gone. Now it's my mind that keeps trying to make it rationale for me to have just one.
Nope. I am done this time. I have quit many times. I have never felt more confortable saying. I am a non-smoker.
You know what? it feels damn good. I am loving it. I played soccer with the kids tonight and was glad to see that 1 could without losing my breathe. ahhh...
Coming up on two weeks and I think this is the last post that will focus on the pain of it. I am a non-smoker..... turn the page.

Day Nine

Ok.. haven't been the best at posting. I have an excuse, reason, rationale..whatever you like to call it. The days of bliss that I spoke of earlier did not last long. Friday was a no good very bad day. I noticed something after I came home. I was feeling very depressed. I knew about the chances of this from the drug and did not like feeling that way at all. I am generally a happy person. I even had the kids on Saturday and we had a great day. My daughter made the cheering squad, we went shopping to replace the quickly growing out of clothes, went to see the Bee Movie with friends, and then went out eat at the Red Robin in Augusta. Great place, great day.....but I didn't enjoy it. I was close to a tear all day.
I had had enough. I am supposed to take two pills a day. I didn't take the second dose.
I made a choice, I am quitting smoking because I don't want to be controlled by a substance. Well, I was not about to be controlled by a medical drug either. So, what am i left with. Chantix is a fairly potent drug that my body is withdrawing from as well as the remnants of withdrawls from nicotine.
My body is a mess, my mind has left me, but already here on Tuesday morning I noticed my spirits picking up.
My body and mind will soon follow suit.
I am glad that I am writing this blog, so that I can remember these occurrences and not have them repeated.
Off to work I go